Lessons from 1 Nephi 2:6-11

1 Nephi 2:6-11
6 And it came to pass that when he had traveled three days in the wilderness, he pitched his tent in a valley by the side of a river of water.
7 And it came to pass that he built an altar of stones, and made an offering unto the Lord, and gave thanks unto the Lord our God.
8 And it came to pass that he called the name of the river, Laman, and it emptied into the Red Sea; and the valley was in the borders near the mouth thereof.
9 And when my father saw that the waters of the river emptied into the fountain of the Red Sea, he spake unto Laman, saying: O that thou mightest be like unto this river, continually running into the fountain of all righteousness!
10 And he also spake unto Lemuel: O that thou mightest be like unto this valley, firm and steadfast, and immovable in keeping the commandments of the Lord!
11 Now this he spake because of the stiffneckedness of Laman and Lemuel; for behold they did murmur in many things against their father, because he was a visionary man, and had led them out of the land of Jerusalem, to leave the land of their inheritance, and their gold, and their silver, and their precious things, to perish in the wilderness. And this they said he had done because of the foolish imaginations of his heart.

This interaction is one of my favorites.

Think about what is happening here. Lehi has just left behind everything -- comfortable home, possessions, friends and family (probably), and has been traveling for three days in the wilderness, presumably without stopping. Furthermore, based on verses 11-12, it seems that Laman and Lemuel have been murmuring the whole time, so it cannot have been a pleasant little seaside trip with the family.

When they do finally stop, the first thing Lehi does is gather rocks to build an altar, and then he makes an offering to the Lord -- to give thanks. He has already given up everything, and now he is offering up more.

And THEN, rather than forcefully silence Laman and Lemuel (which they would like to do to Lehi,) he finds the two most distinctive features of the area and lovingly names them after his murmuring, stubborn, complaining, ungrateful sons -- just so he could take advantage of the teaching moment.

Perhaps Lehi noticed that, except for the directional component, stiffneckedness is actually quite similar to steadfastness. Perhaps with his loving, fatherly perspective, he saw that if Laman and Lemuel's zealous energy could be harnessed for good, they would be unstoppable. His counsel to Laman, then, talks of persistent directional choices -- continually running into the fountain of all righteousness. And his counsel to Lemuel speaks of unbending righteous fortitude -- firm, steadfast, immovable in keeping the commandments.

* Sometimes you need to take a break -- pitch the tent. You won't make it to the promised land all in one day.
* Love your children enough to overlook their murmuring sometimes.
* Pray first. Your relationship with the Lord is more important than your relationship with your kids, and He might even help you know what to say.
* Teach children gratitude. Gratitude helps prevent murmuring.
* Notice their (children's) positive character traits, even when they seem to be exhibiting only negative ones.
* Choose carefully the timing and phrasing of the things you say. The same thing might have more impact if you wait until the 'time is right.'
* Look for examples of goodness all around you. There are infinite teaching moments available if we will look for them.