Lessons from 1 Nephi 2:14

2 Nephi 2:14 And it came to pass that my father did speak unto them in the valley of Lemuel, with power, being filled with the Spirit, until their frames did shake before him. And he did confound them, that they durst not utter against him; wherefore, they did as he commanded them. 

* I love this example of Lehi showing the fortitude to speak to Laman and Lemuel when they are murmuring. There will be times when it is necessary to correct our children. I am reminded of the story in the Old Testament of Samuel and Eli. Eli's sons were behaving in a manner that rivaled the murmuring of Laman and Lemuel. Eli, though, was not willing to correct his sons. He was not willing to "speak with power, being filled with the Spirit," and the consequences were pretty unfavorable for everyone involved. 

* HOWEVER, it is important to notice the correlation between being filled with the Spirit and being able to speak with power. If we really want to be able to speak to our children with POWER, then the source of that power needs to be the Spirit. That Spirit will direct us to give the correction appropriately -- gently and lovingly, but boldly and clearly. (See D&C 121:41-44) We MUST do whatever it takes to have the Spirit with us. 

* This verse says that afterwards, Laman and Lemuel "durst not" murmur anymore, and they started "doing" as Lehi had commanded them. It is unclear to me whether this implies a change of heart, or whether they are just scared of the consequences. My impression is that they have not stopped THINKING their utterings, they've just stopped saying them. And despite DOING as Lehi commanded them, I bet they are not very happy about it. But I guess it's a start, and Lehi has done everything he was supposed to do at this point. Thus he is no longer accountable for Laman and Lemuel exercising their agency.

Lessons from 1 Nephi 2:12-13

1 Nephi 2:12-13
12 And thus Laman and Lemuel, being the eldest, did murmur against their father. And they did murmur because they knew not the dealings of that God who had created them.
13 Neither did they believe that Jerusalem, that great city, could be destroyed according to the words of the prophets. And they were like unto the Jews who were at Jerusalem, who sought to take away the life of my father.

In these verses, a few things stand out to me. First, I feel like Nephi is trying to illustrate the level of infidelity involved in Laman and Lemuel's behavior by reminding us that they are the eldest and that Lehi is their father.

In our society today, perhaps we read about Laman and Lemuel and just picture a couple of smart-mouthed teenagers talking back to their parents, but Nephi is trying to tell us that this is bigger than that. We're talking about birthright here, and a cultural/religious respect for parents that is not just an expectation but a way of life. And they are disregarding those things completely. Nephi is truly SHOCKED at what it reveals about them but is able to explain it a little bit to us.

He recognizes that THIS kind of murmuring is not just superficial whining about the temporary discomforts of being in the wilderness. It stems from a deep, deep, DEEP lack of spiritual knowledge.

For starters, he says that they "knew not the dealings of that God who had created them." If you look at the cross reference for this verse, it takes you to Moses 4:6 where Satan is beguiling Eve because he, Satan, "knows not the mind of God." Now THAT is an interesting comparison.

He continues in the next verse by telling us that "neither did they believe" that the great city of Jerusalem could be destroyed according to the words of the prophets.

So.

They don't believe the prophets. They DO believe their friends. They trust the strength of a CITY over the strength of their CREATOR. Can you see how Nephi is shaking his head in bewilderment as he tells us that these guys just DON'T GET IT. I repeat what he said in verse 12 -- they knew not the dealings of that God who had created them.

So what do we learn from that as parents?
* FIRST, just because we teach something does NOT mean that they know it. Obviously, they will be more LIKELY to know it if we teach it, but somewhere, somehow, Laman and Lemuel did NOT learn "the dealings of God." (i.e., Don't blame yourself!)
* That said, do your best to provide opportunities for the SPIRIT to teach them "the dealings of God." This is not one of those things that we can fake-teach using our own wisdom. They will just NOT learn it unless they learn it by the Spirit.
* Teach them that no city or worldly invention of man can compete with "that God who created them."
* Teach them to listen to the prophets. Always.... Now, I don't mean that they have to put Pres. Monson on their iPod and listen to him 24-7. But if the prophets (including the Q of 12) give them instruction, they should unfailingly try to follow their counsel.
* And especially for our day, in our politically charged environment, teach them how to appropriately respond when they feel like they disagree with something that is said by one of those men. "Killing the prophet" or even just "murmuring" until we've drowned out their words is NOT the answer. (In fact, what if we think of "murdering" as killing the prophets, and "murmuring" as killing the chance for people to obey them. Pretty serious, eh?)
* (As a continuation of the last point) teach them that murmuring PREVENTS us from knowing the dealings of God. I love Isaiah 29:24, (repeated in 2 Nephi 27:35), where he tells us that "... they that murmured shall learn doctrine." To me, this says that if you want to "know the dealings of God" one of the prerequisites is that we control the tendency to murmur.

Lessons from 1 Nephi 2:6-11

1 Nephi 2:6-11
6 And it came to pass that when he had traveled three days in the wilderness, he pitched his tent in a valley by the side of a river of water.
7 And it came to pass that he built an altar of stones, and made an offering unto the Lord, and gave thanks unto the Lord our God.
8 And it came to pass that he called the name of the river, Laman, and it emptied into the Red Sea; and the valley was in the borders near the mouth thereof.
9 And when my father saw that the waters of the river emptied into the fountain of the Red Sea, he spake unto Laman, saying: O that thou mightest be like unto this river, continually running into the fountain of all righteousness!
10 And he also spake unto Lemuel: O that thou mightest be like unto this valley, firm and steadfast, and immovable in keeping the commandments of the Lord!
11 Now this he spake because of the stiffneckedness of Laman and Lemuel; for behold they did murmur in many things against their father, because he was a visionary man, and had led them out of the land of Jerusalem, to leave the land of their inheritance, and their gold, and their silver, and their precious things, to perish in the wilderness. And this they said he had done because of the foolish imaginations of his heart.

This interaction is one of my favorites.

Think about what is happening here. Lehi has just left behind everything -- comfortable home, possessions, friends and family (probably), and has been traveling for three days in the wilderness, presumably without stopping. Furthermore, based on verses 11-12, it seems that Laman and Lemuel have been murmuring the whole time, so it cannot have been a pleasant little seaside trip with the family.

When they do finally stop, the first thing Lehi does is gather rocks to build an altar, and then he makes an offering to the Lord -- to give thanks. He has already given up everything, and now he is offering up more.

And THEN, rather than forcefully silence Laman and Lemuel (which they would like to do to Lehi,) he finds the two most distinctive features of the area and lovingly names them after his murmuring, stubborn, complaining, ungrateful sons -- just so he could take advantage of the teaching moment.

Perhaps Lehi noticed that, except for the directional component, stiffneckedness is actually quite similar to steadfastness. Perhaps with his loving, fatherly perspective, he saw that if Laman and Lemuel's zealous energy could be harnessed for good, they would be unstoppable. His counsel to Laman, then, talks of persistent directional choices -- continually running into the fountain of all righteousness. And his counsel to Lemuel speaks of unbending righteous fortitude -- firm, steadfast, immovable in keeping the commandments.

* Sometimes you need to take a break -- pitch the tent. You won't make it to the promised land all in one day.
* Love your children enough to overlook their murmuring sometimes.
* Pray first. Your relationship with the Lord is more important than your relationship with your kids, and He might even help you know what to say.
* Teach children gratitude. Gratitude helps prevent murmuring.
* Notice their (children's) positive character traits, even when they seem to be exhibiting only negative ones.
* Choose carefully the timing and phrasing of the things you say. The same thing might have more impact if you wait until the 'time is right.'
* Look for examples of goodness all around you. There are infinite teaching moments available if we will look for them.

Lessons from 1 Nephi 2:1-5

1 Nephi 2:1-5

* When you receive a commandment from the Lord, OBEY! It protects you; it protects them; it teaches your family the principle of obedience; and it is a living testimony to them of your faith in the source of that commandment.

As a fun side note, I think it is interesting that the phrase, "was obedient" in verse 3 might be read two different ways. First is that Lehi "obeyed" wherefore he did as the Lord commanded him. And second is that Lehi "was by nature an obedient person," wherefore he did as the Lord commanded him.

If we are familiar with this story, we know that Lehi's obedience here quite literally SAVES his family. How often do we receive instruction that will be vital to our own family's salvation? Are we willing to obey like Lehi?

* Sometimes you will have to figuratively (or literally) leave behind everything familiar to you and depart into the "wilderness" so that you can obey the Lord and save your families. (Examples might include homes, money, time, careers, passions or habits.) You should not be so attached to anything that you can't drop it when and if the Lord tells you to leave it behind. Your families are more important than any of the other stuff you think you can't sacrifice.

* Lehi left behind nearly everything, but he took his FAMILY with him into the wilderness, so the lesson here is that if you really love your families, you will not be content to merely save yourselves. You will want to take your families with you!

Lessons from 1 Nephi 1:20

1 Nephi 1:20

* We need to teach our children to recognize the "tender mercies of the Lord." Apparently, Nephi says he can help us with that... so one way to do this is to immerse our families in the stories and teachings of the Book of Mormon.

* We need to teach them that the Lord can make us "mighty even unto the power of deliverance." This assumes that even the righteous have things in our lives for which we need that power of deliverance.

Lessons from 1 Nephi 1:19-20

1 Nephi 1:19-20

* Make sure your children know that you fear God more than man.

I try to imagine the impression it made on Nephi to see that his father was not afraid of mockery or even violent anger. He saw that Lehi's love for God and the other Jews strengthened him even when his life was in danger.

Lessons from 1 Nephi 1:16

1 Nephi 1:16

* "Speak and prophesy" to your children. Testify to them.

Testifying is not something that we do only in church meetings or in our callings. We need to find ways to truly testify at home. It doesn't have to be as formal as in a testimony meeting at church, but our children need to hear it.

* Because of the stewardship we have as parents, we have a right to receive revelation -- even prophecies -- pertaining to our families. Depending on the nature of that revelation, it may be important to share those things with our family members.

Lessons from 1 Nephi 1:14-15

1 Nephi 1:14-15

The phrase that really struck me in these verses was, "his soul did rejoice, and his whole heart was filled, because of the things which he had seen." Keep in mind that this fullness of joy is being described, not by Lehi, but by his son.

Do our children know how happy the gospel makes us? Do they occasionally see us "praise our God" when we have spiritual experiences and find our hearts filled?

* Make sure your children know that the things of God bring you joy -- true joy. Let them see how happy you are, and help them make the connection so they know that the happiness comes from God.

Lessons from 1 Nephi 1:7

1 Nephi 1:7

* Our homes should be environments where we can feel the Spirit and receive revelation.

Lehi's home served two purposes in this example -- First, it was a place he could GO after receiving one vision and recover (or bask in the Spirit, or whatever.) Second, it was a place for him to receive further revelation. Ideally, our homes would create an atmosphere where both of these things can happen.

In addition, my own opinion is that, while cleanliness is part of that environment, it is the relationships in the home that affect that Spirit more.

Lessons from 1 Nephi 1:5

1 Nephi 1:5

* "Pray unto the Lord... with all [your] heart in behalf of [your children]."

Often we talk about the effects of a 14-year-old boy going into a grove to pray, but interestingly enough, the Book of Mormon is, in one respect, the record of what happened when a different man went to the Lord to pray.

I believe that, in a similar way, the future of our children may sometimes hinge on our willingness to earnestly approach the Lord in prayer. Sometimes the answers to those prayers will affect them directly, and sometimes it will be much more subtle, but our relationship with the Lord WILL affect our ability to be parents.

Lessons from 1 Nephi 1:2

1 Nephi 1:2 * Language and culture are sometimes as important to teach as gospel principles. Make sure you know your own language and culture well enough to pass them on, and then take the time to do it.

Lessons from 1 Nephi 1:1

1 Nephi 1:1 * Teach your children ALL the (good) things you have learned. * Help them to understand that even righteous, "highly favored" people see affliction in the course of their days. * Teach them to want to SHARE their testimonies of the "goodness of God," whether by recording those experiences or by vocally testifying.

In the Beginning

There's a verse in the Book of Mormon that I have read more times than I care to count. It's the first one -- the one I find myself reading every time I feel motivated enough to start a new study of the Book of Mormon.

It says, "I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents..."

And yes, I wrote that without having to look it up. I think we all know that part by heart.

But it just so happened that one time when I was reading this verse, I stopped there. And I wondered -- what is a goodly parent? It's the kind of parent I would like to be, whatever it is. Of course, this happened at a time when I had already been pondering deeply about what I should be doing as a parent -- what things I should be teaching my children so that they can reach their divine potential.

I thought about what a good father Lehi was, and then my mind flashed forward to other good parents in the Book of Mormon -- Jacob, Alma, Helaman, Mormon, etc.. And then an idea was born. In all of my starting-the-Book-of-Mormon momentum, I made a decision -- that I would study the lives of these people, looking for what it was that made them such good parents. What did THEY teach their children? What did THEY do as parents that can help me in my own plight?

I didn't get very far, but I showed it to my mom. Like any good mom, she told me it was brilliant, and then she read from it in her Stake Conference talk and passed out copies to her friends. My dad was similarly encouraging and told me that I should send it in to the Ensign (like any good dad, right?). But considering that it isn't finished, and considering that it is long, boring, and somewhat repetitive, I decided I'd just blog about it instead. Because that's what blogs are all about.